2002-10-25 ~ 6:54 a.m.

4 weeks 4 day

I know there really isn't much to say yet. Today is 4 weeks and 4 days. I think I was messed up yesterday, but yeah that is what I am today. You know what the pregnancy calender says??

It says the baby is turning from the cells that it starts off as, into a embryo today! :) Cool, well actually this week, but it was on this day on the calender so its cool.

I have cut caffine out completely! I am drinking caffine free coke now, making sure not skip meals, and trying to eat healther for the baby.

I told Jaidyn is will be a big sister, mostly because she doesn't understand it right now, and I want to tell people so badly. But I won't tell Noah yet. He had a hard time with us lossing our angel in July. First he would cry about it and get made because the baby went to heaven. Then he didn't understand that we couldn't just go to heaven to visit her, and finally he had to learn that she died and went to heaven to be with God, and that is how people got to heaven. I can't do that again, not to him. He told everyone last time that he was going to be a big brother again, and he wanted a brother, not a sister.

I asked him what he would want if we ever had another baby, he said a brother and a sister. Brian and I looked at each other and said, "uh, no" lol

baby, baby, baby, that is like stuck in my mind. Everything I think and do is BABY lol :) I am excited, even though I am kind of scared. I beleive being on a email loop with those who have lost babies before and went on to have healthy children, as well as hearing others like Miranda, Mia, and Suzanne (sorry too lazy to link everyone) who lost babies too and are going on with healthy pregnancies. Though Mia needs to have Liam, we have waited long enough! lol

Aishy, about everyone wanting you to have a girl, it was like that with Jaidyn too. If she had been a boy everyone would have been so upset. It drove me nuts, and in away I wanted a boy! lol This time I want a boy. I have a girl and I have to say she is ten times the trouble noah ever was! lol

Oh and you know what?? Jaidyn and this baby will be almost 2.5 years apart just linke Noah and Jaidyn were! So Noah will be getting ready to turn 5 (NOOOOOOOO), Jaidyn 2.5 and I will have a newborn! So weird. So neat how they will be spaced the same. And being due in the summer is good because Noah won't be in preschool. though I will have to get him ready for Kindergarden...

Nope, okay I can't even think about him haivng to go to kindergaren, and this entry is huge and long.

I am going to go feed myself and my son. We won't wake Jaidyn up just yet, we will let her sleep some more!

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